{"id":3760,"date":"2024-04-14T09:48:49","date_gmt":"2024-04-14T09:48:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/?p=3760"},"modified":"2024-04-14T09:53:01","modified_gmt":"2024-04-14T09:53:01","slug":"why-do-i-fail-at-making-friends-as-an-adult-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/2024\/04\/14\/why-do-i-fail-at-making-friends-as-an-adult-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do I Fail at Making Friends As An Adult?"},"content":{"rendered":"Why Do I Fail at Making Friends As An Adult?<\/title><\/p>\n<p>As a 30M, I’m embarrassed I’ve never learned how to do this, but I don’t know how to make friends.<\/p>\n<p>For context: I lived in the same town growing up and had a solid group of friends. I left for college and lived in several places for work but never made friends in these situations. Eventually, I moved to where my old high school friends were. It felt good to have a support network around me again \u2013 but also dispiriting that I had made such little progress as an adult.<\/p>\n<p>It has been exhausting \u2013 our first year is wrapping up and it has been really difficult to form friendships, regardless of gender. I try to invite guys in my class to hangout but I am always told everyone is too busy, even though I know they are going to parties or on weekend trips. It’s like I skipped out on a lot of exclusionary high school BS, but it is circling back now in my 30s.<\/p>\n<p>Last week, I was blocked by two female acquaintances \u2013 up until that point, I thought I was getting along really well with both of them. Something similar happened with another classmate back in January, so there is clearly a pattern here.<\/p>\n<p>I find it frustrating that I think I have made a (friendly\/platonic) connection and am suddenly cut off.<!--more--> I understand part of the problem is that women are socialized to be friendly and not just tell guys to \u2018fuck off’ when they get annoyed\/bored\/upset\/uncomfortable with their interlocutor. I want to be respectful and supportive but <a href=\"https:\/\/kissbrides.com\/es\/blog\/el-mejor-pais-para-casarse-con-una-mujer\/\">tiempo medio de compromiso<\/a> am apparently being off-putting.<\/p>\n<h2>I seem to be especially bad at making friends of the opposite sex<\/h2>\n<p>I didn’t notice any telltale signs of discomfort when interacting with them \u2013 I tried to ensure I wasn’t physically blocking their exit, steered towards appropriate conversation topics about class, hobbies, and work, as well as tried to pay attention to signs of boredom or agitation.<\/p>\n<p>As much as possible, I try to let women initiate conversations. Only when these conversations end on a seeming high note (\u201cLet’s get lunch some time!\u201d) do I try and follow up with them over text. This is where everything seems to fall apart and I get blocked. Now I’m worried that I’m on some \u201cCreepy Guy\u201d list \u2013 and I honestly have no clue what I’m doing wrong.<\/p>\n<p>This entire process has left me feeling lonely and miserable. Since I’m in this program for the next few years, I want to make friends or at least have some people with whom I feel comfortable hanging out. At some point, I’d even like to date. However, all of this appears to be a long, long, long way off. I literally cried myself to sleep last night.<\/p>\n<h2>Is there any hope of repairing any of these relationships and getting a second chance?<\/h2>\n<p>I’m not sure how to even begin to improve my social calibration since it seems so misaligned at the moment. Any tips to find out what I’m doing wrong? When do I just take the \u2018L’ and move on?<\/p>\n<p>OK, NETFZ, I think we need to take the friends issue and women blocking you issues separately. I suspect that there’s some overlap going on that’s leading to this, but these are going to require different approaches to help address things.<\/p>\n<p>Let’s start with just trying to make friends as an adult, especially when everyone’s busy. The first thing I would point out is that having your high-school friends back as part of your social circle isn’t a bad thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why Do I Fail at Making Friends As An Adult? As a 30M, I’m embarrassed I’ve never learned how to do this, but I don’t know how to make friends. For context: I lived in the same town growing up and had a solid group of friends. I left for college and lived in several… <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/2024\/04\/14\/why-do-i-fail-at-making-friends-as-an-adult-5\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Why Do I Fail at Making Friends As An Adult?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1290],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3760"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3761,"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3760\/revisions\/3761"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3760"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3760"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gosoluciones.mx\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3760"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}